Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Feb 12, 2012


So..... Three's not too shabby.... You would not believe how many times I got the 'zone defense' pep talk from others, before bringing #3 home. However, it hasn't been all that necessary yet... We had a little honeymoon phase after bringing Faith home, before some sibling rivalry kicked in, but I'm not so sure it will be just a honey and moon phase this time around. Asher, affectionately referred to as Smasho or Masho around here, is so easy-going. Many of you have heard me say that he is by far the easiest of my three. I think some may be confused after watching him arch his back and ncry when I put him down, or the same after I tell him to walk to something if he wants it, instead of me doing it for him... Deken in no way was ever a tantrum thrower, and I think many of you would try to argue that Deken was the easiest.

Deken ate anything, all by himself with silverware! Asher still needs to be fed, and is just starting solid foods.

Deken slept 12-13 hours, without waking up and waited in bed till you came to get him. Asher sleeps 10-11 and gets out of bed and takes everything out of the dresser, albeit cheering happily while doing so.

Deken could talk, in full sentences telling you exactly what he wanted, with manners. Asher can say about 3 words and the rest is a bit of a turkey gobble gibberish.

Deken was walking and potty trained. Asher just started walking full-time this past week and wears diapers full-time. Something we've never had with our previous two.

How can this be easier? Deken sounds like he was a breeze? How could all this extra work be easier? With two other kids in tow?

Because. It is. It's normal.

Because you can't compare them. You SHOULDN'T. You can't have expectations.

Because when Asher arches his back and cries when I put him down, it means he's attaching to me.

Because even though he's just starting solid food and learning how to use a spoon, after 4 weeks, he trusts what I'm putting in his mouth, and takes it willingly. And when he takes the spoon to do it himself he watches his big brother do it first and then tries. He learns by someone leading him. He trusts his big brother. He wants to be just like him. And that makes this momma's heart so happy.

Because Asher explores his room each morning and recognizes his accomplishment, after emptying his dresser. He comes cruising out the door when I open it, ready for the morning ahead. Stinky, smiling and walking to his next step each morning.

Because sweet Smash and I get a quiet hour alone together each morning before the rest of the littles get up. We have breakfast and coffee and whisper sweet turkey gobbles to each other.

Because I can have another little on the big potty, while my littlest is on the little potty, listening to my big littles tell him what he should be doing on the potty, and explain everything about the bathroom to him, while he sits, listening intently, gobbling back to them with gusto.

Because in three days time, Mash Gordon could walk, in socks, on wood floors, with dogs running past, without falling down.

Because, I'm not missing any firsts.

Because I can teach him things I haven't been able to do in all my years of motherhood so far.

Because there's three now, and it just feels normal, not awkward, hard, or overwhelming, like everyone told me it would be.

Because we've conquered: pets, grocery shopping, meeting family, sleeping in a toddler bed, eating in a chair, 2 restaurants, using a spoon, drinking from a sippie cup, eating solid foods, riding a toy train, going on a potty, 3 monkeys in a tub, school drop off/pick up, sitting in church, WALKING, learning the house, snow, hats gloves jackets socks and shoes, home depot, ikea, reading books, and hugs and kisses. All in the first week home.

While it all seems so different, it still feels comfy and normal. While it is alot of work, its so enjoyable.

This is all I know.

I don't know how to parent anything other than these littles.

Because I listened, when I wanted to put earplugs in and say no. It's not time. I can't do this again. We can't afford it. It's too much.

Because I choose to rest in HIM for guidance, assurance, strength...

Because the sermon on the mount tells me everything I need to know, about being a parent, a wife, a disciple.

Not an adoption book,
adoption seminar
adoption support group.

Because God did not design life to be easy. HE hopes that we WOULD turn to him, in obedience, when we need HIM.

And now there's three. Three littles, that can play with balloons together for hours. That encourage each other to make good choices. That lay on the floor together, staring at the ceiling, pretending to be watching fireworks. That pray together before bed, all settling in.

Three, that wouldn't be here if Marty and I hadn't recklessly abandoned our conscience.

Our rationality.

Our selves.

This is Easy Joyous. Rewarding. Work.

Too often all I hear are the struggles of adoption from others.

Not enough do I hear the rewards. Here are my rewards. Littles. Peace. Tears. Siblings.


Dec 27, 2011

Because she's so worth it

362 days ago, Marty, Deken and I got on a plane to bring home our little Faithy.... Little did we know about the great deal of energy we were going to be bringing along with it.  This little wiggle worm is like this just about all day long.  And it's the exact amount of positive energy we all needed around here.. :)  Sorry the quality is bad, I didn't have time to fumble for the camera, but I had to get this on film...  She'll hate me when she's older, but she still loves me now! :)

Nov 7, 2011


Hadn't realized that I haven't posted it here yet.. So for all my non-facebook friends (which you're welcome to join, come find me!)  It's another boy for the Duffy's!!

Baby # 3 on his way home very soon we hope!  Our newest little one is almost 18 months old, and is a bowl full of Jello! We've loved watching him grow (I mean GROW) in photos the last few months and can't wait to have him home with us for lot's of squeezes and love!!

Hoping to travel early next year (this year would be the miracle that we are praying for!) and love knowing that we will have another little man around here at the Duffy house, very soon! God is Good!!


Oct 21, 2011

What a difference a year makes.....

A year ago I wrote this post...

What a difference a year makes!!




Oct 18, 2011

Dear Mr. President,

INVISIBLE CHILDREN supports your actions against the LRA! 

Well, and so do the Duffy's.  I kind of wanted to write something about what's been going on, in that wonderful place that has given Marty and I, THREE beautiful children..

DISCLAIMER:  This may not be a post for the youngin's....

For those that might not be aware of the situation, I have a few links attached so that you can spend some time looking through the history of the conflict in Northern Uganda.  I really encourage everyone that reads this to educate themselves on the TRUTH of the matter.  So many things have swirled around in the last few days, since the President of the US announced that a group of 100 advisory forces are being deployed to Uganda, to support the Ugandan government with equipment and tactical advice.

Here is a link to the announcement from Invisible Children, an organization set up to help combat the crisis in eastern and central Africa, caused by the destruction of the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army).

Many people have voiced some anger towards this recent announcement, some criticizing by saying things like "Where has the US government been in the past?" Or that "Obama is only doing this because an election is coming up... " Please, really, educate yourself.  Below is some info on the history of the crisis, and details the things that the US HAS been doing in the last several years, to combat the issue.

The second thing I really want to bring light to is that there are many comments being posted, questioning the religious affiliation of the LRA.  Some are blasting the US for it's new involvement, by saying that Obama is gladly sending troops out to kill Christians, because he is Muslim.  It's so sad.  If anyone is taking Rush Limbaugh's side on this one, I encourage you, again, please educate your self on the situation, instead of googling and taking the first piece of information you find on Wikipedia, to suffice your thoughts or opinion on the matter.

While we are uncertain of the religious implications of the LRA, no matter what their driving force, it's not for us to really decide if Joseph Kony and the LRA are killing in the name of God or plain psychotic. They're killing. Period. Jim Jones, Eddie Long, Fred Phelps, Emperor Theodosius, Adolph Hitler, Charlemagne, the FLDS, Clifford Peeples, the KKK.  The list goes on and on.  All of these people or groups, think that what they are doing, has been done to either honor, or in the name of God.  No matter how distorted we may think their views are, and how atrocious their actions, we really shouldn't be judging if any, or all of them, are Christians.  That's just not for us to decide.  

We may yes, certainly, bring justice to the criminal actions they are committing.  But let's leave the judging of their faith/Christianity to the chief Justice himself.  Below is a link to some information about the LRA and what they are currently doing.  Invisible Children is a great organization that thoroughly supports bringing justice to those that are imposing horrific crimes against humanity in Eastern and Central Africa.  They said it best that this is NOT a political issue, but a human issue.  This is about people.  Innocent people.  Men, Women and Children being slaughtered by the thousands.  Please consider supporting Invisible Children and their efforts to raise awareness and seek Justice in Africa.  They have many campaigns listed on their website that you can prayerfully support, and they are a wealth of information to be had.

As Deken and I plan to head over to Uganda in the next few months, pray for our safety and travels.  Uganda is like a second home to the Duffy family, and with new strides being taken to protect this home of ours, we are excited to hear more about the situation on the ground.  Below are some more resources for your reading pleasure (or not).  Mostly books about child soldiers and what it's really like for them.  That's what it's like for the LRA.. Children being recruited and brainwashed to fight for such an absurd cause.  It's so senseless, and it happens all over the world.  Educate, Educate, Educate.  Don't be afraid, and don't hide from it, because it's REAL.  Not the Real Housewives of New Jersey.  That's not really REAL.  This is real. And scary. And now has HOPE.

Thank you for listening.  Please don't use my opinions as proof to anything or reference.  There is great solid fact and information on the  INVISIBLE CHILDREN website that is available to you for free!  Don't be afraid to peruse, educate yourself on the situation, and take action!  And don't forget to see some of the links below.  I've read some of the books, and as hard as they are to read, it's so important and encouraging to hear, those faced with such tragedy, can make their way through the darkness!


Mar 28, 2011

In Times of Prayer

There's something about spring that is so motivating...  People come out of their shells a bit (Or hibernation as a little girl at my sons school, matter-of-factly expressed).  Windows are thrown open, even when it's still only 33 degrees in Chicago.  Jackets are put in the closet, replaced with sweatshirts.  And flip flops make their way out, even though we have to wear them with socks for a bit.

The air smells clean (if you can smell at all, for those of you with seasonal allergies like me) the sun is brighter than ever, and the car is even a bit warm when you climb in every morning.

We have busily been making some changes around the Duffy house.  Moving furniture around, making rooms more accomodating, and giving the kids a little more space of their own (I have an independent bunch over here!)

But while I'm busy in my home, taking care of my family, and cleaning the winter out of the corners, some families out there are in a different place.  In a hospital chair, at a loved ones bedside.  In a foreign land, being told to leave without their child.  About to become mommy's without anyone around to help.

It could be anything really.  From far away you may think there is not much that can be done, but there IS!  I've seen some strange things in the last few weeks.  Friends and enemies banding together for a miraculous cause...

I've had my moments in life that have led me to uncomfortable places.  Places where the unknown is present, new things and changes take over, challenges in front of me to be faced.  In these times I always wonder what changes in me.  How did I get there, and how did I make it through?  I used to think that it was always God, putting me on a path, and showing me how to navigate it.  While this is true, over the years, I've started hearing people around me talk about things they are praying for, people who needed lifting up, situations that needed resolution, even if they weren't apart of their own lives.  It's something I've always done, always hoping God would answer my prayer for them.  Some how I was a bit misconstrued on this concept though... I never thought about other people praying for ME, even when I didn't ask for it.  And still never put two and two together, when something miraculously changed in my life...

Then I started to see what I'm calling the 'invisible prayer chain'.  "How was I ever convinced to do THAT?" I'd say.  Soon my answer became another question.  "What if someone else prayed for me to do THAT?"  How quickly a perspective changes.   People that pray, that are faithful, that lift his name up.  There's power in that!  God orchestrates, because his believers call on him.  God answers prayers because others believe.  God wants for YOU, and others want for you too!  Someone (or many someones) prayed, and a life was changed.  Not adjusted, or modified from the original.  CHANGED.  Only God can do that, and only prayer can answer it.  I guess it just took 28 and half years of life for me to realize that someone can pray for ME, and my life can be changed too!

It's powerful, and it's needed.  If you can spare a few moments to read through some tough journeys that are going on right now, some families out there might be able to experience the life and joy that comes with the power of prayer.

First, a family is adopting a precious little boy that has down syndrome.  However, the judge in this child's country decided after a 5 hour court hearing, that their child is better off staying in an institution, instead of being joined with his forever family.  Please pray for this family and their fight to transform the minds of the judges, so they can be reunited with their son and bring him home!  You can follow along with them here:

Another family, that Marty and I had the pleasure of growing up with and had as classmates, is having a medical crisis.  He's a sweet man named Godfrey.  Please take a few minutes to read about him and his wife, Corinth, daughter Charissa, and baby #2 on the way.  Pray for miraculous healing and strength!  They are in desperate need for an opportunity for Godfrey to be transferred to Chicago for the care to make him well, and the insurance company has denied their funding..  Pray for their fight to transform the minds of those involved in the insurance decision, so Godfrey will get the care that he needs, and back with his family!  You can follow their journey here, and join them in prayer in their guestbook!

Have a big mountain to be moved?  Feel free to post a comment or message me about.  Others will be praying! They always do :)

"Now Faith is being sure of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see...."  Hebrews 11:1


Feb 14, 2011

Good Friends Salman Rushdie and Harry Potter

I noticed this shelf on one of our bookcases today...  I thought it was a good example of what my marriage looks like.   The books on our shelves move around quite often, because we read them so much, but this one in particular struck me.  

Some of the books are mine, some are Marty's.  I've read some of his, he's read some of mine.  We just like to read.  I've gone through ups and downs of reading in the past.  Then I got on a genre kick and read alot of the same types of books for many years.

Enter Marty.  Since we're not a gift-on-Valentines Day kind of family, I thought this picture was gift enough.  The growth, openness, truth and fiction that this picture portrays to me is a gift.  The little bit of this and little bit of that that my life became almost 5 years ago when Marty and I started dated.  The fun, the serious, and the not so great.  I just love what this little bookshelf says to me.

Now off to take all the doors off the kitchen cabinets..  Hopefully I'll get it done before hubby reads this, lol :)