So..... Three's not too shabby.... You would not believe how many times I got the 'zone defense' pep talk from others, before bringing #3 home. However, it hasn't been all that necessary yet... We had a little honeymoon phase after bringing Faith home, before some sibling rivalry kicked in, but I'm not so sure it will be just a honey and moon phase this time around. Asher, affectionately referred to as Smasho or Masho around here, is so easy-going. Many of you have heard me say that he is by far the easiest of my three. I think some may be confused after watching him arch his back and ncry when I put him down, or the same after I tell him to walk to something if he wants it, instead of me doing it for him... Deken in no way was ever a tantrum thrower, and I think many of you would try to argue that Deken was the easiest.
Deken ate anything, all by himself with silverware! Asher still needs to be fed, and is just starting solid foods.
Deken slept 12-13 hours, without waking up and waited in bed till you came to get him. Asher sleeps 10-11 and gets out of bed and takes everything out of the dresser, albeit cheering happily while doing so.
Deken could talk, in full sentences telling you exactly what he wanted, with manners. Asher can say about 3 words and the rest is a bit of a turkey gobble gibberish.
Deken was walking and potty trained. Asher just started walking full-time this past week and wears diapers full-time. Something we've never had with our previous two.
How can this be easier? Deken sounds like he was a breeze? How could all this extra work be easier? With two other kids in tow?
Because. It is. It's normal.
Because you can't compare them. You SHOULDN'T. You can't have expectations.
Because when Asher arches his back and cries when I put him down, it means he's attaching to me.
Because even though he's just starting solid food and learning how to use a spoon, after 4 weeks, he trusts what I'm putting in his mouth, and takes it willingly. And when he takes the spoon to do it himself he watches his big brother do it first and then tries. He learns by someone leading him. He trusts his big brother. He wants to be just like him. And that makes this momma's heart so happy.
Because Asher explores his room each morning and recognizes his accomplishment, after emptying his dresser. He comes cruising out the door when I open it, ready for the morning ahead. Stinky, smiling and walking to his next step each morning.
Because sweet Smash and I get a quiet hour alone together each morning before the rest of the littles get up. We have breakfast and coffee and whisper sweet turkey gobbles to each other.
Because I can have another little on the big potty, while my littlest is on the little potty, listening to my big littles tell him what he should be doing on the potty, and explain everything about the bathroom to him, while he sits, listening intently, gobbling back to them with gusto.
Because in three days time, Mash Gordon could walk, in socks, on wood floors, with dogs running past, without falling down.
Because, I'm not missing any firsts.
Because I can teach him things I haven't been able to do in all my years of motherhood so far.
Because there's three now, and it just feels normal, not awkward, hard, or overwhelming, like everyone told me it would be.
Because we've conquered: pets, grocery shopping, meeting family, sleeping in a toddler bed, eating in a chair, 2 restaurants, using a spoon, drinking from a sippie cup, eating solid foods, riding a toy train, going on a potty, 3 monkeys in a tub, school drop off/pick up, sitting in church, WALKING, learning the house, snow, hats gloves jackets socks and shoes, home depot, ikea, reading books, and hugs and kisses. All in the first week home.
While it all seems so different, it still feels comfy and normal. While it is alot of work, its so enjoyable.
This is all I know.
I don't know how to parent anything other than these littles.
Because I listened, when I wanted to put earplugs in and say no. It's not time. I can't do this again. We can't afford it. It's too much.
Because I choose to rest in HIM for guidance, assurance, strength...
Because the sermon on the mount tells me everything I need to know, about being a parent, a wife, a disciple.
Not an adoption book,
adoption support group.
Because God did not design life to be easy. HE hopes that we WOULD turn to him, in obedience, when we need HIM.
And now there's three. Three littles, that can play with balloons together for hours. That encourage each other to make good choices. That lay on the floor together, staring at the ceiling, pretending to be watching fireworks. That pray together before bed, all settling in.
Three, that wouldn't be here if Marty and I hadn't recklessly abandoned our conscience.
This is Easy Joyous. Rewarding. Work.
Too often all I hear are the struggles of adoption from others.
Not enough do I hear the rewards. Here are my rewards. Littles. Peace. Tears. Siblings.