Silence

I've spent the last three months in silence.....

No, I don't mean silent on my blog (well yes, that has been a little silent lately) But I mean real silence. The music has been off.

Adoption is hard.. It takes alot out of you. Especially since Deken is my first child... And he's two years old already. Where was I supposed to start?

My whole life I have relied heavily on music. I basically always have music playing, did mostly music related activities growing up, and played every instrument in the band. Funny, coming from a person that doesn't even own an ipod... but I just love music... And I do it 'old school' with the plain old radio (no satelite thingamajig), tapes and CD's.... sometimes even records..

But since I came home from Uganda with Deken I've been silent. Something inside of me just wanted it to be quiet. Some of you might think "How could it possibly be quiet in her house? She has a two year old!" Well, I do that surprisingly well. He's basically an extension of myself, so what he does and says is just reality (the sound of the washing machine, furnace, coffee maker, police sirens, cell phone ringing)... I hear it, yet I don't. I listen, but it's not loud. But the music was off.

Even my husband thought it was weird, especially because I'm home all day now and he knows I always had music playing before. "You don't want the music on? That's so weird..." is what he said... I don't know. I just wanted it quiet....

Well, today Deken and I mastered glue. He's sitting at the table right now with popsicle sticks, crayons, cotton balls and a bowl of glue, just getting messy and being a boy....

I am about to tackle the mound of dishes all over my kitchen..........

and I just turned the music on.....